Family mediation is a way to agree arrangements for your children and your money after you separate, with a trained, independent mediator, instead of leaving a judge to decide. GOV.UK says mediation is usually cheaper and quicker than going to court. This guide covers the meeting you usually need before applying to court, the £500 voucher, the costs, legal aid and how to make an agreement legally binding.
Key points
✓A trained, independent mediator helps you and the other person work out arrangements for your children, money or property, and you decide what you agree to
✓You usually have to show the court you have attended a MIAM (a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before you apply, unless an exemption such as domestic abuse applies
✓You can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 towards mediation sessions, whatever you earn, but not towards the MIAM, and vouchers are limited in number
✓A MIAM usually costs around £120 for each person, and legal aid may cover mediation if you are on a low income
✓An agreement reached in mediation is not legally binding, and to make it binding you draft a consent order and get a court to approve it
What family mediation is
A family mediator helps you work through disagreements and find solutions that work for you both. They listen to both sides and take a neutral approach. You need to use an accredited mediator, and you can find a local one on the Family Mediation Council website. Mediation is not relationship counselling. If it is suitable, a mediator can talk to your child about what they want, which is called child-inclusive mediation. Mediation can help you agree on:
✓Yes: where your child lives and when they spend time with each parent
✓Yes: when and what other types of contact take place, for example phone calls
✓Yes: how to cover your child's living costs, for example housing and day to day care
✓Yes: how to divide money and property, including pensions, savings and investments
You do not have to be in the same room as the other person. You can attend sessions in person or remotely, for example by video or phone.
The MIAM: the meeting you usually need first
Before you make a court application about your children or your money, you usually have to show the court you have attended a MIAM, a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, unless you are exempt. The Children and Families Act 2014 says a person must attend a family mediation information and assessment meeting before making a relevant family application, and the Family Procedure Rules can say when that does not apply.
A MIAM is a short meeting with a qualified mediator, who gives you information about mediation and assesses whether it is an appropriate option for you. The mediator may also explain other ways you can agree arrangements without going to court.
After a MIAM the mediator signs a form that shows you attended, and you need to show it if you apply to court. Only a mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council can sign it. If you attend a MIAM but your ex-partner does not, you can still apply to court. Form FM1 is the form you use to confirm to the court whether you have attended a MIAM, and if you have not, you must give the reason why.
GOV.UK's guide to child arrangements says you and your ex-partner attend your own MIAM separately, while its voucher scheme guide says a MIAM can be attended together or separately.
For a child arrangements application, GOV.UK says you will not usually need to go to a MIAM if one of these applies:
✓Yes: you have been to a MIAM or tried other ways of agreeing without going to court in the last 4 months
✓Yes: you have evidence that you are a victim of domestic abuse
✓Yes: you are applying for a consent order
✓Yes: your children are at risk of harm, for example social services are involved in their care
✓Yes: you cannot go to a MIAM because of your location, situation or the mediator's availability
✓Yes: you are applying for a without notice hearing, which is a hearing that happens without the other person being told
✓Yes: the application is urgent, for example you or your child are in danger
The £500 mediation voucher
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme gives a contribution of up to £500 towards the cost of mediation in eligible cases. GOV.UK says you can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn. It is a one-off contribution for each family or case, and you cannot apply for more than one voucher.
The voucher cannot be used towards the cost of a MIAM, only mediation sessions, and it usually pays for a minimum of 2 mediation sessions, depending on where you live and the type of mediation.
Ask an accredited mediator to apply for the voucher. You do not need to pay upfront for any sessions the voucher covers, and you will not receive a physical voucher. The mediator is paid directly once all the mediation sessions are concluded.
A voucher is for a dispute about a child, or about family finances where you are also in a dispute about a child. If your issues solely relate to a financial remedy dispute, you cannot get one. You can still be eligible for a voucher if you are eligible for legal aid.
The scheme is time-limited, and vouchers are limited in number and offered until they are no longer available. Your mediator will let you know if there are vouchers available.
What it costs
A MIAM usually costs around £120 for each person. The cost of a MIAM is separate from the cost of mediation, and mediation sessions cost more, with fees that vary depending on where you live. You and your ex-partner need to decide how the cost of mediation is shared. Some mediators offer reductions if you are unemployed or on a low income.
You may be able to get legal aid to cover the cost of mediation if you are on a low income. You do not have to pay for a MIAM if either you or your ex-partner qualifies for legal aid. If both of you qualify, legal aid covers a MIAM, any mediation sessions needed after it and applying for a consent order. If only one of you qualifies, it covers a MIAM and the first mediation session for both of you, plus any further costs of the parent who qualifies, but not the other parent's costs. At your MIAM, the mediator will talk through your options, including whether they are able to take on legal aid work. Our legal aid guide explains who qualifies and how to apply.
Making your agreement legally binding
At the end of mediation you get a document showing what you and the other person have agreed. GOV.UK says this agreement is not legally binding. If you want to make your agreement legally binding, GOV.UK says you should hire a solicitor, who will draft a consent order that a judge or magistrate can then review and confirm.
For money and property, you draft a consent order and get a court to approve it, and it can be based on what you agreed in mediation
For child arrangements, you can apply for a consent order that both parents sign, and a judge or magistrate reviews it and decides whether to confirm it
Mediation is only an option when both people agree to take part, so you and the other person need to agree to mediate. The mediator can decide that mediation is not right for you, for example if there has been domestic abuse and you need to go to court instead. If you cannot reach an agreement, you still have the right to go to court. If you or your children are at immediate risk of harm, call 999 and ask for the police. See our family law section for the other guides on separating.
Scotland and Northern Ireland
GOV.UK says what you can do after a divorce or separation is different in Scotland and Northern Ireland, with different rules for making child arrangements and different options for money and property. If you live in Scotland or Northern Ireland, check the guidance GOV.UK links to for your nation before you rely on the steps in this guide.
Is family mediation compulsory before going to court?
Mediation is only an option when both people agree to take part. But you usually need to show the court you have attended a MIAM before you apply, unless you are exempt, for example because you have evidence that you are a victim of domestic abuse.
Is family mediation free?
Not usually. A MIAM usually costs around £120 for each person, and mediation sessions cost more. You can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 towards mediation sessions, whatever you earn, but not towards the MIAM. If you are on a low income you may be able to get legal aid to cover the cost of mediation.
Is an agreement reached in mediation legally binding?
No, GOV.UK says the agreement you get at the end of mediation is not legally binding. To make it binding you draft a consent order and get a court to approve it.
Can I use mediation if there has been domestic abuse?
The mediator can decide that mediation is not right for you, for example if there has been domestic abuse and you need to go to court instead. You will not usually need to go to a MIAM before a child arrangements application if you have evidence that you are a victim of domestic abuse. If you or your children are at immediate risk of harm, call 999 and ask for the police.
Do I have to be in the same room as my ex-partner?
No, you can attend sessions in person or remotely, for example by video or phone, and you do not have to be in the same room or call as your ex-partner.